Spookfest
Spookfest comments:
(a) the crowd was unusually shovy and impatient. There’s a certain grace to flowing through large crowds – I can almost always get up front and close, it just takes some time (15 mins or so) of slowly edging into gaps as they open up and letting the crowd itself push you forward. A lot of the people at the show last night had not the skill, nor the patience to develop it, and more than once I found myself wanting to punch someone.
(b) the kiddies don’t know DJ Shadow or Underworld. It was kinda spooky how quickly the DJ Shadow crowd thinned out (as opposed to, say, the Steve Aoki crowd).
(c) security line was 50 minutes for some really pathetic security; they didn’t even notice my (opaque gray, sealed cylinder) earplug case. I could have smuggled in anything that I might have wanted to (except for large glass bottles of alcohol, but then I wouldn’t have wanted to).
(d) they fixed the overheating problem from etd.pop; it never got nearly as warm as it did then, which was a relief.
(e) still, though, at least 16 people have been hispitalized, at least 2 of whom are in critical condition. I don’t understand how this is even possible. Do people just not take care of themselves? what the Fuck?
(f) we missed Booka Shade.
(g) Steve Aoki – kinda meh. I mean, it was fun to be in a tight crowd, bouncing up and down energetically. But fundamentally he’s doing a more hard-rock version of what DJ AM was doing, and he’s less good at it.
(h) Classixx: these guys were pretty good and fun to dance to.
(i) MSTRKRFT: just as fun as I remember them being.
(j) Aaron Axelsen: to my surprise, actually a reasonably good DJ.
(k) DJ Shadow: I enjoyed it. And the recut of Stem was phenomenal. But … I still find myself wishing for the Shadow of 2002 rather than the shadow of 2010. Sign I’m getting old, I guess.
(l) Underworld: Holy. Fucking. Shit. these guys were awesome. Best show of the night, best crowd of the night, hands down.
(m) Dinner and hanging out with $redacted, and talking: fun. He’s a good guy, and it’s nice to see him and catch up and share. (He doesn’t seem cuddly, though).
(n) Caltrain fatality: dislike! dislike! dislike!
The last trance show I went to, someone died. It was a major controversy in my county, with the county board of supervisors getting involved to pressure the venue to say “never again” to electronic dance music of any kind. The next show by the same promoter unexpectedly cancelled itself in July, and of course our local clone of the Love Parade cancelled itself as well. So when tickets for Sequence (with Blake Jarrell and Roger Shah) went on sale, I bought them immediately. (The promoter sets up a pricing structure which encourages that: the first X tickets go for price A, then the next X for price B, etc).
Yet Saturday afternoon and evening I found myself not wanting to go. We’d spent the early afternoon playing board games with a local friend and an out of town friend who was visiting for the opera; that had been fun, but after dinner I found myself feeling lazy, and clingy, and lonely. Unmotivated, not wanting to do much of anything.
Still, I forced myself out of the house, and it was a good thing I did; I had a blast at the show.
The venue was somewhat small (the health-and-safety certificate said the main floor had a capacity of 440, which shocked me). This was good in that it meant that everyone was close to the musicians; it was bad in that the annoying f—tards in the crowd were impossible to avoid. (There was a particular group who seem to have never learned how to move politely through a crowd, and were basically shoving people aside as they moved around all night. This is a behavior pattern I don’t understand: I can usually get to where I want to be fairly quickly by simply waiting for the spaces to open up as people shift about, and then sliding through them. Although I admit that can be made harder by groups like the extended chinese family who were in the middle of the floor, minimally dancing, sticking together, and mostly making sure everyone had enough water, chewing gum, paper towels, etc, to feel comfortable). Still, annoying f—tards in a crowd are possible to ignore, and as much as they piss me off at first, eventually the atmosphere and the energy of the music and the joy communicated through the dance cause me to just not care any more. 
I don’t remember much of the night itself; there’s a degree to which five hours of dancing to trance music blends together. After a while, there can be a meditative aspect to it; a total immersion in an environment which causes thought to silence itself, and allows me to simply be present, to see and hear and feel, and not ponder or wonder or worry. Bright shining moments of stillness in the midst of motion.
What I do remember, mostly, are pictures of people – the tall Indian dude in an anjunaabeats t-shirt with his short southeast asian girlfriend who were the only people other than me who were essentially on the floor dancing the whole time; another indian dude who, during the last set, kept grabbing his young chinese friend by the t-shirt and pulling him back over (the friend kept wandering off to watch some girls on the other side of the stage); the tall dude in the beret (who was vaguely associated with the large Chinese crowd from above) who high-fived me; the dude with the multiple glow stick necklaces who was making out with his girlfriend; the extremely cute 50-something couple dancing together during the Roger Shah set, lower energy than us younglings jumping up and down but still having a blast; the muscular shirtless young desi guy standing next to me for half an hour during the last number; the dude who got all excited and happy and shouted about partying when I hugged him; the dude in the deadmau5 shirt who danced for most of the set and was passed out on the couch by the bathroom when i went out to use it early in the fourth act … all these people, faces in the crowd, distant and yet not, sharing moments of joy and peace.
There’s something about trance in a crowd which is cathartic and relaxing; something which leaves me feeling love for each and every person I meet on the floor,that brings an astonishing peace and acceptance and echoes the joy of life throughout the room, and deep in my soul.
[UPDATE]: someone asked if I use chemical enhancement for this; the answer to that is no – or at least, not in many years. The sum total of chemical enhancement involved was coffee and sugar.
Why would anyone think the Fillmore was a blight on the neighborhood?
I mean, maybe if it were the Regency Ballroom …
Says the New York Times, in an obituary for Mr. Coblentz:
They met when local complaints threatened to keep Mr. Graham’s Fillmore Auditorium from opening.
To show the Fillmore was not a blight on a fine neighborhood, Mr. Coblentz had a friend stake out a hotel across the street known to be a house of ill repute. The friend photographed policemen entering. After Mr. Coblentz shared the photos with the Board of Permit Appeals, the Fillmore was approved.
I wonder if that would work today.
I took J. to the airport Friday night for his three week trip to Thailand, meaning the house is empty, i’m somewhat lonely, and $redacted. So yesterday, after sleeping later than I intended to, I stubled out of bed, made coffee, and went up the road to a hike: five miles through Wunderlich Park, across 35, 4.5 miles wandering around Corte Madera Open Space Preserve, and then back. It was heavily wooded, so I didn’t get a sunburn; the top of the peak had a gorgeous view out to the west; there ws an unexpected memorial to the victims of an australian plane crash; and I experienced a horrid muscle cramp on the way down.
After a brief recovery time, I drove to the city, to see Paul McCartney. I’d seen him once before, at Coachella last year, but I didn’t expect this show to compare; to my surprise, it did. Back when I was first learning about music, it was sort of a cliche that Lennon was the talented Beatle and McCartney was a pathetic hack – and I still think that Lennon was a better lyricist – but I’ve come to realize that McCartney really *is* skilled, and probably a better showman. (I was happy; there were songs I hadn’t heard before). I ended up sitting next to the world’s most annoying concert goer for a while, but after I walked out to pee (and buy pretzels – hunger and salt-deprivation were sapping my energy), I moved to an abandoned seat, and ihngs got much better.
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The world cup final sucked; it was a horrible, ugly game without much inspiring soccer, and full of poor play. I made up for it by $redacted. Then I went to play board games with friends, who cooked for me. On the way home I stopped at work, discovering that I could do nothing interesting because several of the tools I rely on had been taken out by a weekend power outage; then I came home, curled up with the internet, some beer, and firefly.
A good weekend, all in all.
Even if I’m lonely and can’t $redacted.
An open letter to all members of the San Mateo County Board of Supervisors
The agenda for today’s Board of Supervisors meeting contains a resolution urging the state legislature to enact legislation limiting the ability of the Cow Palace to permit the use of its facility for “Rave” events.
I am writing to you to ask you to vote against this resolution.
I was in the crowd at the Cow Palace on May 29, 2010. I was completely sober. I had come, as had sixteen thousand other people, to enjoy the experience of dancing in a large crowd full of people who love the music being performed.
This is an experience which, for those who enjoy it, is almost magical; the crowd comes together as a group, filled with the joy that comes from intense physical exertion and the love of music. The crowd at such events is almost never violent, because that would not fit with the mood; it’s the kind of crowd where you can trip over trash on the ground and everyone around you will rush to help you get back on your feet. It is the kind of crowd where total strangers share water because, well, that’s what you do: you help each other out, and you share in the joy of the experience.
Some of the people in the crowd were on drugs. By far, the majority were not.
Some of the people in the crowd were not careful and failed to keep themselves hydrated in an environment which involved them sweating due to physical exertion while in a room made warm by the heat of sixteen thousand people dancing. The overwhelming majority did not.
Two people died. They died having done something risky – taking ecstacy and dancing in a hot environment – and then failing to exert the care and caution needed to remain well in such an environment.
Fifteen thousand nine hundred and ninety eight people did not – because they were careful and responsible enough to enjoy the experience without harming themselves.
The resolution you are voting on today is a resolution asking the state to ask the overwhelming majority of responsible electronic dance music fans the ability to have an experience which they treasure – an experience which they plan for for months in advance and, in some cases, travel as far as six hundred miles for – because fewer than a dozen people were not careful.
The resolution is manifestly unfair: in essence, it seeks to punish the responsible for the failures of the irresponsible.
Were the activity in question something more mainstream than dancing in a large crowd to electronic dance music, the measure would never even have come up for a vote. But because electronic dance music is an ‘underground’ activity pursued by a tiny minority of the state, it has come up.
I ask you to be the voice of reason who stands for those who love electronic dance music, and for those who believe that the responsible should not be punished for the activities of the irresponsible.
Please vote no on this resolution when it comes up for a vote today.
I have read in the newspapers that you have called upon the state to ban certain electronic music events from the Cow Palace, citing the recent death of Anthony Mata, and associated drug arrests, as grounds for such a ban.
That request is misguided, and I would ask you to reconsider.
Sixteen thousand people went to the Cow Palace on the night of Mr. Mata’s tragic death. Sixteen thousand people went there because they greatly enjoy the combination of a large dancing crowd and electronic dance music; they went because they knew they would experience the joy that comes from doing the things one loves to do.
Fifteen thousand, nine hundred and eighty eight people did so safely. They knew that a hot crowded dance floor is a risky environment, and they took care of themselves, had fun, and experienced joy.
Twelve did not.
But those twelve knew the risks; they were aware – as anyone who has spent any time on a dance floor is – of the danger of dehydration when dancing in a crowd; and they chose not to take care of themselves.
Is the joy of fifteen thousand, nine hundred and eighty eight people to be prevented because twelve people who knew the risks involved with their activities were not sufficiently careful?
Should we apply the same rule to anything risky that people enjoy?
Electronic dance music massives are events which are, for their fans, the highlights of the year; people come from hundreds of miles around to have fun dancing in a crowd. They are a great experience for those who enjoy them responsibly; they are miserable experiences for those who don’t enjoy them or who are not responsible.
But fans of such events should have the freedom to choose to take the risks for an experience they love.
I did basically two things over the long weekend: my husband and I went to a multi-day board game convention and played lots of games (including two games of advanced civilization), and I went to an EDM party and saw Benny Benassi, Fedde Le Grand, Armin van Buuren, and Infected Mushroom.
The crowd at the gaming convention made me feel young and thin.
The crowd at the EDM party made me feel old and fat.
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The party was the best part of the weekend for me; this isn’t a surprise, I haven’t been dancing since December (I missed the big music festival in April), and there’s something about the experience of being in a hot crowded dance floor surrounded by people having a blast dancing to trance music which makes my soul soar and leaves a happy glow for weeks afterwards. Given the somber nature of the last week and a half, and the fact that I still can’t fall asleep for thinking about it, it was a fantastic respite.
Security was basically the tightest i’ve ever experienced it – 75 mins in line (causing me to miss Boys’ Noize, my #3 act for the day), and they even searched my earplugs (!?) looking for drugs. The good news was that the guy in line in front of me – a talkative man in an orange full body jumpsuit with a rainbow tie – was entertaining and amusing to listen to. This made the time pass nicely.
One of the concessionaires had the bright idea to freeze the bottles of water, which was very helpful; the main floor was warm enough and crowded enough that i could feel heat radiating off of people (including myself). I got asked for water more at this event than any other I’ve gone to before, which was kind of unexpected.
The layout was neat: the DJs were on a rotating stage in the center of the floor, which made it very easy to get to the ‘front’; I ended up in the front row after each time I went out for more water, which is very unusual.
Fedde Le Grand and Benny Benassi were pretty good; Armin was somehow disappointing. Infected Mushroom was good, but by then I was really too tired to care.
I had to take the bus back to my friends’ hotel room – J had the car – which led to a serious error in planning: I had a 45 minute wait for the bus, which I chose to take outside. In 55 degree temperature. while soaking wet from my sweat and the sweat of 10,000 of my closest friends. (I had extra clothes in my pocket to help keep me warm. They were soaked through, too).
I was shivering by the time I made it to the hotel. Teeth chattering, the whole works. I should have taxid it.
Still, the party was worth it.
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The con began and ended with games of Advanced Civilization. The first one, Friday night, was my regularly scheduled game; I run the game every year and as a result, by volunterring to be GM, I get free admission. Last year we had enough people for two games, this year only one; all were experienced players, though, so we blasted through, ending around 4 AM. J won, I came in last, but the overall score range was surprisingly narrow; really, anyone could have won had things gone differently on the last turn. I’ve never been in a game that close before.
The Monday day game was requested by a friend who wanted to learn it, and it was a friends only game; three of five players were newbies, and we had just barely gotten through the early iron age when the hotel kicked us out (WE WANT OUR TABLE BACK). One of the newbies and one of the experienced players were fighting it out for first place.
Other weekend games included Age of Renaissance (I won after a lucky war turned the tide in my favor), the Scepter of Zavandor, Through the Ages, and Race for the Galaxy. J played two games of Twilight Imperium, one of which lasted fifteen hours. (Horrors).
My sleep schedule is still hosed.
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Apparently someone died at the EDM party, from what looks like dehydration exacerbated by e. This is sad, but not entirely surprising; the environment of such things is inherently a bit dangerous and you really have to take care to not get dehydrated at them.
The political response is annoying. I mean, it’s one thing for the police to investigate to see if the promoter could have prevented it (they couldn’t); it’s another thing for members of the local board of supervisors to be calling on the state to ban such events at that venue (which is state owned). That’s a bizarre (if predictable) over-reaction … can’t let the kids have fun if the fun involves risk, can we?
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One of the amusing things about going away for the weekend is finding major news stories have happened while you’ve been gone.
The big one this weekend: apparently Israel boarded a Turkish-flagged ship in international waters, attempting to enforce its blockade of Gaza. The people on the ship tried to fight them off; the Israeli commandos fought back; people died.
It’s a brilliant move by whoever organized the convoy and a terrible own-goal by Israel. Congratulations, Israel: you’ve just royally enraged your one real ally in the region. And you’ve hammered a nail into the side of NATO which could easily lead to cracks that undermine the entire organization.
I mean, lets be clear here: by boarding a Turkish-flagged ship in international waters, Israel just conducted an act of war against a member of NATO. A country whom the US is pledged by treaty to defend.
If Turkey wanted to press the issue they could use this to tear NATO asunder, because there’s no way the US would attack Israel in retaliation over this.
With friends like this, the US doesn’t need enemies.
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I still … I had fun this weekend. Life is mostly back to normal. I’ve kind of gotten to the point where I can experience joy at what time I had to know Erik rather than sorrow at the time I won’t have.
And yet.
Deep down, I still don’t believe. And so every reminder is a knife to my gut.
Another memorial service on Sunday. I both want to go and don’t want to go.
And often when falling asleep my mind wanders to his death, and I cannot sleep.
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